Okay. In case you didn't know, I am Nice-But-Dim. Also, I am the worst person I know at doing introductions. So let's keep it short. This is the mailbag. This is where you send in letters (at this address), and I reply to them. We have subjects of which you can focus on, or just right about DX in general. And of course, everyone's favourite, the idiot mail.
Okay, I'm done. Let's get started. This week's subject is DX: The Conspiracy. All about that new game for that console. Yes... THAT console. We're looking at the pros and cons. Sound simple enough? Good. Let's get started, shall we.
First up, the SERIOUS letters.
-From: Nate Berens
-Subject: DXO Mailbag
j0 NBD,
Nuke here. I'm with you on the subject of DX: The Conspiracy. Deus Ex is through and through a PC Game. The subject matter, the gameplay, the interface, the MP even... it just doesn't work on a console. Now, consoles are fine for some types of games that PCs suck at, but first-person games are totally PC territory.
I mean, how the hell are they going to do the interface? It was complicated enough on a f*&%ing keyboard, but how are they going to manage on a controller with 10 whole buttons?
Well, I'd write more, but I have to go help my mom with the dishes, so I'm off...
Ciao.
I agree totally with the whole e-mail. DX is indeed a PC only game. It just doesn't work on other platforms. And of course, everyone's all amazed by the controller. HOW WILL IT WORK? I'm guessing the official manual will look something like this...
Controls for DX: The Conspiracy
Triangle, X, X, X, O = Shoot
Triangle, X, O, O, O, Square = Draw Pistol
Sqaure, Triangle, O, O, X, X, Square = Interact with object
So just hit the control pad randomly like a constipated ape.
You're hand will be as white as the Notepad background I'm currently writing on by the end of level one. Nice move, Ion! Way to go to give all your fans seizures!
And, finally! HA HA!!! YOU HAVE TO DO DISHES!!! HA - WHAT MUM? AGAIN? I VISITED GRAN LAST WEEK! NO, IT'S DANIEL'S TURN!!! HONESTLY!!! YEAH, I DID IT LAST WEEK!
Heh, mum falls for anything. ;-)
-From: falo
-Subject: Consoles
Dear Mr Dim,
Why is Deus Ex 2 being released on the PS2? It'd clearly be much better as a PC only game.
Sincerely,
A PC Monkey Zealot
Best question I've heard all day.
...
Might I add I just got up?
Anyway, it would be better as a PC only game, but because the world is populated with people who cannot afford a PC (that's putting it midly), buy cheap consoles. Basically, they don't work hard. Thefore, they are stuck with the lower end of platforms. So, Ion sees the opportunity, and releases a game for it.
On the bright side, revenue will be made. So hopefully, all is not lost, and we'll get a good game.
-From: Zearoth W.G.
-Subject: Mailbag: DX Conspiracy
Dear NBD,
Concerning the maibag topic, with the subject of DX Conspiracy I have the following to say.
The good things of it being released on console are:
1. More money to Ion Storm Austin from the console release.
2. Deus Ex will become even more popular.
3. The storyline isn't actually dependent on the PC, and is likely going to work fine on a console.
4. Bring the Deus Ex glory unto the unfaithful and obsolete console players.
5. Since there is no warez on consoles (as far as I know), no one would have to hear "I can't enter the Boat" kind of questions.
Now, the bad things:
1. If sales fail, it'll be a hell of a blow to ISA.
2. Since DXO is once again becoming the number 1 DX site we may have to stand a lot of console players, and I bet an annoying number of them will let our dear OTF full of Console/PC wars. That is, until Jeff and TRM closes the threads.
3. The joystick on consoles is not very good for FPS. (But I've heard rumours of Mouses and keyboards for consoles)
4. Computers are a lot better than consoles, if the console version doesn't work out as well as the original Godly PC version it may be bad to DX reputation.
For now, that is it.
Sincerely,
Wargrunt- The sane lunatic
Again, I agree totally. But you're missing out number 5 in your bad things list. DXO on the console just doesn't work. It's impossible. How will anyone possibly experience the fun, the atmosphere, the excitment... when you've got a console. It's way too embarrasing. As most people have computers in their rooms, they can easily turn off the light and put the speakers up to full. But with a console, most people are stuck in their living rooms, having their girlfriends moan at them.
And speaking of your 'warez' statement...
IDIOT MAIL
-From: cian hegarty
-Subject:
hi, am i'm a bit stuck in deus ex, i am on the first level and have done all the objectives, but how do i get on the boat?
You mean apart from the 'buy-the-real-game-you-worthless-peice-of-sh*t' solution? No idea.
-From: (Censored)
-Subject: Deus Ex 2
Do you have information on Deus Ex 2 at all? I know that info IS limited but could you tell me anything at all? Thank you
Joseph Manderley
U.N.A.T.C.O chief
It's funny that Mr. Manderley has no info on Deus Ex 2. He would be the first person I'd ask. It's also funny Mr. Manderley has an AOL address. Oh well, it's a funny old world, innit?
-From: CoMpUdOc
-Subject: Mailbag
I wanted to write a serious email about why DX would suck on a console....but on second thought,
DX.ORG R0X0RZ j00r b0x--(Edited for content)
Thank you for your time.
Despite the fact it's totally true, it's still Idiot Mail. Sorry.
-From: cian hegarty (again)
-Subject:
I found this pic under Paulks bed in his apartment, does it have anything to do with the game, i found more XXXrated pics but as ur only 12 i'll only send you this one ;)
Hmm... more people taking the p*ss outta me because I'm... young. Plus, you forgot the pic. And you're not getting a reputation with this, either. Try and earn a place at the thingy AT THE TOP. Not down here.
And Finally...
IDIOT MAIL OF THE DAY...
-From: Marek Alliksoo
-Subject: :)
testing .... testing ......
ihihihihihihihhi
Raptor
Thank you for testing the mailbag. Don't test it too much, though. You might break it.
Okay, that's us done for this week. E-mail us for more juicy opinions on Consoles and DX.
Ta ta!
| 
