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Hurray. Just when you thought it was completely dead (In a similiar fashion to DX: BB), the mailbag jumps back onto you like a cat on a mouse wearing makeup. (I must remember that one). So what's new, I hear you ask? Well, for starters, I'm not Nice-But-Dim anymore, since my recent bout of originality has influenced me to change my name to 'CowInParachute', which I think is a rather rocking name, personally. And of course, my boss (of course, boss is a harsh word - he prefers Almighty Master of the Universe) has changed from the stable TheRenegadeMaster to the slightly eccentric Rigel. Of course, in a way, I'm my own boss. But sadly, in a more accurate way, Rigel's my boss since he has the ability to edit everything I put here. He's a git, really.
But moving on... the mailbag. Yes, yes. Needless to say, really, it was a disapointing week. And you wonder why your fresh dose of upbeat, happy-go-lucky humour isn't updated as much. BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEND ANY BOLLOCKING MAIL! Honestly, people. Tut tut. If you really can't be bothered thinking about something to e-mail about, I'll declare the subject 'The Position of the Deus Ex Community'. I'll start you off, shall I? One thing about the Deus Ex Community is that mailbags don't get any GODDAMN MAIL! *sigh*
Right. Let's get started, shall we?
MAIL
From: Paul Gibbs
Subject: Deus Ex 2/Linux
Are/is there any plans to put Deus Ex 2 natively on Linux, or do we have to use a Windows kernel emulator such as Transgaming's wine?
Well, this is great. The first serious e-mail I get... and I don't know the damn answer to it. Erm, I suspect they'll do the same as they did with the original Deus Ex (release it on Windows and think 'to hell with the Linux users') but if anybody could back this up, like Warren Spector or someone, I'd appreciate it.
That's us! Already, we're finished the serious mail. Nope, it seems you lot prefer making twats of yourselves than putting any effort into an e-mail. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
IDIOT MAIL
From: John Mc
Subject: (none)
If you lie on your CENSORED so you CENSORED the CENSORED off it feels like you're CENSORED someone else!
I'm not even sure I'm allowed to reply to this e-mail. Get away, you sick freak. Leave me the hell alone and stop sending this sick information to the mailbag. Send it my own address, damn you!
From: Paul Gibbs
Subject: IRC Craziness
Why is DeusExGaming's IRC channel called #dxorg, you crazy people?
It's a fair point, actually. But I'm putting you in idiot mail for even going there. Rigel moderates it, you know!
From: Paul Gibbs
Subject: unanswerable questions
Whilst doing Important Google Searches, I came upon this (http://www.gpsa.co.za/sa/jokes/sign04.jpg) picture, and was wondering: why *IS* there a tree in the middle of the road?
I suspect we have another Cian Hegarty on it's way.
From: BFGuerrilla
Subject: Mailbag: Insult Generator
Greetings,
Check this link out for a good laugh:
http://www.funlol.com/content3/content.php?content=insultgenerator.txt
Argh! What is it with you people and useless mail? Stop sending me garbage like this, you politically ambiguous sperm-bank! I'm never going to use stupid links like these.
From: Zach Vavrek
Subject: Do you like whipped cream?
Well...
Monkeys.
Yes, well, goodbye.
It was at this point I decided that if somebody sent me one more damn idiot mail, I wouldn't put it on the mailbag. Sadly, I didn't recieve any more e-mail beyond this point, so it was a wasted promise. Oh well.
So. What an amazing waste of time and bandwidth. If you don't start sending me decent e-mail, I'll just stop this mailbag. And then the only thing that you'll see on this site is about how goddamn great Rigel thinks he is!
Anyway. That's all this week. Don't worry, I was disapointed, too.
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